Feelings on Fratricide
by Sarah1281
Summary: In the aftermath of his successful battle against Stannis, Renly's already small family has shrunken even further. As he makes his plans to continue his campaign for the throne, he attempts to understand why he can't stop thinking about his dead brothers. He and Stannis had never gotten on in life so why should his ghost be so difficult to get rid of in death?


Renly knelt before the corpse that had once been his older brother.

As the youngest – always so much younger, never permitted to forget it – it was not perhaps unusual that he was the last brother standing. And yet.

_And yet_.

Robert's life had been stolen right in front of his eyes. Oh, he dared not stay to watch his brother breathe his last.

The ultimately suicidally honorable Eddard Stark ("Eddard?" Robert had laughed every time he heard someone say it, "You mean Ned, of course! _Eddard_.") had refused his perfectly sensible solution to seize Robert's children. If they were even his. Stannis had said…the disgusted look Renly had gotten from Stark was quite uncalled for. If he remembered correctly, the Starks' long-held hostage was only a year or so younger than himself. He never had any intention of harming the children; no one could rule through a dead king.

With Stark unable or maybe just unwilling to save himself, Renly did what he must. He hated every second of it, feeling the coward, and Loras had hated it even more but they both knew what was at stake. And he wasn't running away to hide. He ensured his own safety and then raised an army to do brave, proper battle. Loras had liked that.

So no, Renly had not been able to watch the end of his brother but it was close enough. He was there when Robert had taken the milk of the poppy that rendered him insensible for what time remained. And his brothers had never truly recovered from watching helplessly as his unremembered parents drowned, or so it had always seemed to him. And they couldn't have even seen any more than a sinking ship. It was true that parents and brothers could not possibly be the same and he was years older than they had been but perhaps it was for the best.

He had been as helpless as they when Robert had foolishly, drunkenly, _Robertly _ordered them all to stand aside and allow him and a common boar to slay each other. There was no excuse for Barristan Selmy, of all people, being made to stand aside and watch his king fall. He had heard that the Lannisters blamed the old knight for it and stripped him of his position (was that a precedent they _really_ wanted to set with Ser Kingslayer still about?) but that just showed them for short-sighted fools.

They knew what Robert was.

As did Renly, of course, but despite the slow decline of the man Renly sometimes wondered if he truly remembered or just brought to life in his head after hearing the stories…he hadn't expected this. King Robert Baratheon, the first of his name, killed by wine and boar. And so young.

Renly had never seen the corpse his brother the king left behind. He wondered if it looked anything like the other one.

A noise behind him and Renly didn't have to turn around to know it was Loras. No one else would dare disturb him now. No one else would be welcome.

A hand on his shoulder and Renly's eyes squeezed shut and his breath hitched. He didn't know how long they stayed like that but the moment was over too soon.

"Lady Stark is preparing to return to Riverrun," Loras said quietly. "She is unharmed but you certainly made your point. Her knights-well, her guards at any rate are even more impressed. If her son has any sense, he will bend the knee."

Renly heard the words distantly and, with effort, pulled himself fully into the present.

"Bend the knee," he repeated. "Yes, sooner or later they'll all bend the knee. But how soon? The boy has just declared himself King in the North five minutes ago. And though he has scarcely fought at all, he will be flushed with success at his victories. And he has won very nicely, I'll not deny credit where credit is due."

"It would be madness not to bend the knee," Loras protested.

"Madness?" Renly shrugged. "I remember fifteen well. You're hardly any older, Loras. Should he see the full strength of my forces, should he _feel _it, I daresay he'll feel differently but what are words really? One thousand looks enough like ten thousand in the abstract."

"His mother swore he'd give up his crown," Loras reminded him. "She wanted to call a council and crown a new king, as if the Lannisters would ever accept such a thing. Of course, she would probably have wanted Stannis as the, shall we say, _more obvious _heir but no one can deny you succeed your issue-less brother now."

"No one but the Lannisters," Renly said. "But they're as biased as I am and only one of us had the good sense to look like Robert. Oh, I have no doubt that each and every man in Stark's camp would gladly see me seated on the Iron Throne. They just don't want to be my subjects."

"Lady Stark said-"

"And Stannis said _I'd _give up my crown and pledge fealty to him," Renly countered. "In his case it was wishful thinking. I spoke to Lady Stark and don't believe she wishes for war at all. It may be the same thing. Or she could, having seen my forces, have too much faith in her young son's good sense."

"And what will you do if Robb Stark persists in his rebellion?" Loras asked.

"There's no point in doing anything just yet," Renly replied easily. "They are not my foes. I am not Stannis 'all men who do not support me are traitors to be killed.' If they continue to throw themselves at the Lannisters and make my conquest of King's Landing easier then I wish them nothing but success. Once I am seated on the Iron Throne we will talk again. I was appalled by Lord Stark's execution and I will see his name cleared. I will return his body and his sword and whatever else the Lannisters stole. I will find his lovely daughters and then we shall see if the North is so opposed to bending the knee."

He would never kill the girls, of course. It would completely destroy the carefully-crafted image he had built and since they wouldn't be taken as hostages to kill if their brother did not fall in line there would be no need to. He could take a hostage from the Starks after he had beaten them in battle to ensure their future loyalty (though he would have to _really _beat them to get them to agree to that and that would take time and it wasn't a game he cared to play) but taking a prisoner of the Lannisters for a hostage would win him no favor.

No, while he wouldn't be returning them while their forces were opposed (and that should help convince Robb Stark to do the sensible thing), he would be _rescuing _them from their evil Lannister captors. Knowing Cersei, knowing _Joffrey_, they wouldn't be having an easy time of it. And he had quickly seen, even with their limited acquaintance, that little Arya was a handful. But Sansa, though very young, was already a beautiful lady and what did the people love more than a dashing knight swooping in to save the beautiful maiden? And a king would be better than a knight. Good thing he was already married or the songs might demand he wed her.

"I won't fault him for seceding from the Lannisters," Loras said slowly. "Highgarden is not so isolated and we would not be so reckless if we were but if they had killed my father and kept my sister prisoner I would find it…_difficult_ to fall in line. Let alone come to King's Landing to swear fealty."

"I wonder if anybody actually did that," Renly said idly. "Joffrey certainly summoned half the realm. I do understand that there's something anticlimactic and rather humiliating about declaring independence and then quickly turning around and saying 'never mind' even if a more favorable party holds power."

Loras didn't look the least bit sympathetic. "They should have thought of that before breaking away."

"Ah, I understand. They had to have something to fight for and 'removing the Lannisters from power' is no good if they don't have anyone in mind for the new king. I suppose I should be glad Robb Stark wasn't such a fool as to try and put himself on the throne. Or maybe he's just thoroughly sick of the rest of us after this whole mess."

"Well his father is dead and his brothers are a cripple and an infant," Loras pointed out. "If he couldn't find it in himself to support you when you were right there to be supported then it's his own fault."

Renly laughed. "Well, what can you expect? They're Northmen who never come below the Neck long enough to learn of these things and after this I doubt they will again in this lifetime. They worship honor to the point of suicide, we saw that with Eddard Stark, and honor demanded Stannis after Robert. But, well, _Stannis_."

"And they hadn't heard about the incest at the time," Loras conceded reluctantly. "_Honor_. Some people take it too far."

"Those people deserve our pity, my dear knight of flowers," Renly said gravely, trying to keep a straight face.

Loras rolled his eyes playfully. "Aye, my pity and my sword if they don't allow honor to guide them to swear fealty to their true king."

"They did raise an army and go through all this trouble and they won't be pleased if the end result is the same as if they just sat at home and let me win. I'll give them some concessions. He can call himself King in the North like the Prince of Dorne. The North is so remote we have nothing to do with them anyway so they might as well be a separate kingdom. It's just a word; just an idea. Independence."

Loras groaned. "Let's not go shedding blood over _ideas_ now."

"If it comes to bloodshed, the Seven Kingdoms is just as much of an idea," Renly reminded him. "It…really should be eight kingdoms, come to think of it, with the Iron Islands but the Seven Kingdoms does have a certain ring to it that the Eight Kingdoms does not."

"So what? We could lose the North and keep the islands and still have seven?"

Renly snorted. "Please. Lose half our kingdom for a few bits of rock in the sea? I'd be a fool. Besides, everyone knows the minute anyone even _thinks _'independence' Balon Greyjoy will be right there waiting. I'm surprised they haven't rebelled already, the state the land is in."

"The Starks do hold their son," Loras said.

Renly nodded. "That they do. But would they kill him for Balon's rebellion when they're rebelling as well? That seems a bit hypocritical. Maybe they'll even ally. We shall see what happens."

"I just remembered," Loras said. "Do we believe that Cersei's children are the Kingslayer's?"

Renly shrugged. "I don't see why not. My legion of followers supported me before we had any idea and I stand firm on my notions of right of conquest and merit-based succession but-"

"Completely independently of your former station as youngest brother with two trueborn nephews," Loras cut in.

Renly valiantly ignored him. "_But _since now I have a legitimate reason, nay, _duty_, to take the throne no one could argue with, why not take advantage? I have no children myself but Edric Storm takes after Robert in a way three Lannister-born children do not and Shireen takes after Stannis far more than she should."

"What happened to that fool Patches or whoever being her father?"

Renly waved a hand impatiently. "Oh, I never believed that. I only said it to annoy him. Even as the niece of a king, she'll never make a good match. A seventh son of a powerful family perhaps. I heard something of Stannis' troubles betrothing her before and now that her status has not changed and she's niece to a different king I do not see it being any easier. It is not just that she is ugly, though that doesn't help, but the Greyscale. Well, I'd never touch a woman with it."

"You'd never touch a woman you didn't legally have to," Loras replied. "And speaking of, your marriage to my sister isn't binding until you-"

"I'm working on it," Renly interrupted, shooting him a look. "But Shireen is my blood. Besides me, she is the last of the Baratheons. I'll not deny her her due. For now, I suppose she is my heir."

Loras shuddered. "I'll send Margaery to you tonight."

Renly glared at him. "My brother just died!"

"Consider it comfort!" Loras cried, throwing his hands up in the air. "And you did have him killed so I don't know if the rules of mourning are the same. Besides, he was alive all the other days since the wedding and somehow the consummation never happened."

"You know, Loras, I'm a bit uncomfortable with how eager you are to have me bed your sister."

But Loras shook his head. "Oh, no. If anyone gets to be uncomfortable about your marriage to my sister then it is Margaery and me. And if we can live with it – and we're surprisingly fine with it – then so can you. Besides, you knew she was my sister when you wed and judged a crown to be worth it."

"Yes but I hadn't faced bedding her yet," Renly grumbled.

Loras scoffed at that. "You _still _haven't faced bedding her."

Renly looked away, annoyed, and his eyes fell on his brother's body again. He had almost forgotten it was there despite the fact they had been speaking of Stannis' death.

Loras must have sensed the change in him as he moved forward, eyes full of concern.

"They said you killed my brother."

Loras swallowed. "I'm sorry. If it would have been easier if it had been someone else-"

Renly shook his head. "No, don't. Stannis surviving the battle was never part of the plan. You were there when I explained how there was no need to have a contingency for my brother's surrender because it was never going to happen. And I put you in charge of the vanguard. It was always a possibility. If I didn't want _you _to kill my brother I should have said so."

"I did offer to accept his surrender," Loras said quietly. "I know you said that there was no point but you never said you wouldn't accept it. He was your brother and I wanted to give him – _you _– that chance. He knew that he had no chance. He knew that even if he killed me, and that wasn't likely, he would die, too. He told me that he was the rightful king of the Seven Kingdoms and he would never been the knee to a usurper like-like you."

Renly narrowed his eyes. "Rightful king, rightful king. Maybe he _was _the rightful king with Robert dying without issue if he wants to consider Robert the rightful king. Conquering Westeros made Aegon the rightful king and it was how I intended to earn my crown. But what good is that now? He's dead. What good was it then, facing down your sword? Why did he always have to be so…_Stannis_? If I were him with the claim and he had the men I never would have let it come to this."

"And that is why you are alive and he is dead," Loras said gently. "You are a survivor, Renly. I may not have known your brother well-"

"He wouldn't have let you. He looked at you and all he could see was those Highgarden banners outside of Storm's End all those years ago. You were one. If he had to hold a grudge he could have at least had the decency to keep it to those old enough to take part of it."

"Your brother was a stubborn man. He felt strongly about things and knew what he believed to be right and wrong and his duty," Loras continued. "In a way that's very admirable. And it's all well and good when things are going his way. Had he taken the throne without complication I'm sure he would have been a very dutiful king, far more attentive than your other brother was. He would have ruled as well as he could have, though I still believe you'll be a better king than he was capable of being. It's that damned inflexibility. Things weren't going his way and he could not accept that reality so he rose up against it and chose to be crushed by it and break before bending. But you're not like that. Should the Lannisters find a dragon buried in the basement or-or whoever else they could miraculously defeat our forces then I have no doubt you'll still find a way to survive."

"I'd like to think so," Renly said softly. "But so much is uncertain. I never thought Robert's death would mean I need kill Stannis. I wonder what he would have done had he not believed Joffrey to be a bastard. For, true or not, I know my brother enough to know he wouldn't tell the world unless he was very sure. Probably fight on the side of the Lannisters for all he despised them. It would be his _duty _to stand against me either way."

"You don't know that. He stood against King Aerys for Robert."

Renly sighed. "Yes but King Aerys was quite mad and he was a boy obeying his lord and staying put inside his castle. It's…different. And Joffrey would have been his nephew. Do tell me that my brother died well after throwing his life away. I'd like to have that, at least." He nodded to the body. "It doesn't _look _horrific."

"I gave your brother the cleanest death I could," Loras assured him. "I faced him one on one and I stabbed him through the heart. He didn't linger."

"That is…good to know," Renly said, images of Robert's drawn-out agony flashing through his mind. "I didn't…"

"Didn't what?" Loras prompted.

"I ordered his corpse not to be desecrated. I didn't know if anyone would but I wanted to take no chances. He was my brother and a Baratheon and it would look bad for me to demean him. It won't have done me any favors that I had to kill him but at least everyone can agree that he attacked me when he laid siege to Storm's End. And there was no sign of Ser Barristan Selmy and I've asked everybody. He said he was going to serve the true ruler and yet he's nowhere to be found and I can't worry about this right now but it's going to drive me mad until I figure it out," Renly said, almost rambling.

"What about it?" Loras asked. "You ordered his body not to be desecrated and it wasn't."

"I ordered him not to be harmed but not for his own sake," Renly said. "Once I was sure it would come to battle I said all the right words but only Lady Stark was willing to tell me that, for all my words of grief, I did not sound as though I would be very upset to lose my brother. It took me aback because it is certainly uncouth to point something like that out but…she wasn't wrong. I tried to explain that we were never the closest of siblings. I should have thought it would be obvious from the way we were warring with each other and not because we were sworn to different masters fighting each other. It was our choice. Either of us could have stopped it at either time and yet neither of us did. But how could she understand? Family, duty, honor."

"I must confess that I do not understand it either," Loras said quietly. "My family has always been close and I cannot imagine fighting against my siblings. We've always been too united for that. And, crippled or not, Willas is the heir. I've no interest in taking Highgarden for myself."

"Do you judge me, then, for what transpired?" Renly asked, unsure if he really wanted to know but not craven enough to leave it unsaid.

Loras closed the gap between them and took his hands. "No, of course not! I've known you for years, Renly. I've seen you and your brothers. You would have gotten along with them if you could but Robert was just so…detached from everything and you know Stannis never forgave you for Storm's End for all it was Robert's choice and you could have hardly refused him, especially at your age."

"They never stopped seeing me as a child," Renly said slowly. He had said those words before but back when his brothers were alive and it was different now. "They could have lived to be a hundred and I don't think that ever would have changed."

"You were a child and they were adults and they set the tone of their relationships with you, Stannis particularly," Loras said firmly. "If I disapprove of your family dynamics know that it is not a fault I find with _you_."

Renly managed a small, sad smile at that and Loras released his hands and backed up again. "It's true, you know. It took me years to really understand that Stannis couldn't stand to be at Storm's End or to see me ruling over it. One day he just went away. I understood that Robert had to be king and he had always been away anyway but Stannis had always been there and then one day he wasn't and he wouldn't say why. I thought he just hated me."

"No one could _ever _hate you," Loras said immediately.

Another small smile. "Stannis could. If not then then later. He didn't approve of me. Of _anything _about me. He thought I was frivolous and cared too much about foolish things like what other people thought and tourneys and all the things that made life worth living. I suspect he knew of you and he didn't approve of that, possibly more because you're a Tyrell than anything else. He just…didn't like me. And it's a bitter thing, being so despised by your brother."

"Did you like him any better?" Loras asked.

"Well…no," Renly conceded. "Or at least I thought not. But I'm naturally inclined to dislike those who dislike me. He was always so grim and serious. He acted like he was allergic to fun and every little bit of levity was taking away from a moment that could be spent in contemplation for how to dutifully improve the realm and ruin everyone's good time."

"And yet you seem…" Loras trailed off, struggling to find the word.

"Upset?" Renly supplied. "Is that so unusual? He was my brother. Perhaps I would be devastated if we were closer but we weren't and I don't know if we ever were. Even when I was younger, even before the siege, he was so much older than me that it was difficult to truly be close to him. He did take care of me, you know, very dutiful in that special Stannis-y way that he did everything. He did the best he could by me and he could have done worse but that's just what made his abandonment after the rebellion harder."

"I don't understand how he could do that to you," Loras said, shaking his head. "Yes little girls and little boys are the ladies and lords of their own castles from the moment they are born sometimes but they aren't often left alone when they have older brothers. Robert, as you said, needed to be in King's Landing, especially in the beginning, but if Stannis could spend years in King's Landing he clearly didn't need to be at Dragonstone constantly."

"I didn't understand it then," Renly said again. "But now I do. With Robert no longer able to rule Storm's End, it should have passed to Stannis. Well, Robert really could have just kept it and given it to a son but since he didn't do that he really should have given it to Stannis. Instead he gave him Dragonstone which I suppose is better than leaving him with nothing while giving a small child who can't possibly appreciate it their ancestral home but I completely understand why Stannis was so upset and why he couldn't stand to be a guest in his younger brother's castle."

"Dragonstone _was _the traditional seat of the Targaryen crown prince," Loras offered half-heartedly. "And before Joffrey was born, Stannis was the heir to the throne. Or I guess he never stopped being it even if we all forgot about it. Maybe Robert giving it to him had something to do with that."

Renly rolled his eyes. "Since when did Robert understand anything about subtlety or symbolism? But refusing to just tell Stannis that he was pleased with him for holding Storm's End…I could see that. As I said, I can see why Stannis was upset. But to take it out on me? It wasn't my fault."

"No, it wasn't," Loras agreed. "And the distance that sprung up from his anger and his bitterness and his distance wasn't your fault, either. What were you supposed to do? Abandon Storm's End to go live at Dragonstone with him?"

Renly just sighed. "I think maybe it started before then."

"What do you mean?"

"I was young during the siege. Not so young as you, I do remember parts of it, but very young just the same. I didn't understand what was going on. I daresay that Stannis told me more than most would have told a child of six but how was I to understand that a mad king ruled who had no problem executing nobles left and right and thought burning someone to death counted as trial by combat and that my own older brother was likely to have been killed because his betrothed was stolen?" He blinked. "Kidnapped. People are kidnapped."

"And the fact you didn't understand caused problems between you and Stannis?" Loras asked. "What, did he have no patience for your lack of understanding?"

"Actually…" Renly hesitated. "For Stannis, I think he showed remarkable patience, especially considering what kind of stress he must have been under. I didn't understand any of it. I remember looking at your family's banners and watching the tournaments and begging my brother to let me go join. He never would."

Loras looked awkward. "It…might have been for the best. My family would have just taken you hostage."

Renly let out a startled laugh. "Well, yes, I do see that now. But what did I know of that then? And I could see them feasting day in and day out and we had nothing to eat. We didn't eat much from the beginning because we didn't know how long the siege would last but we ran out of food soon enough and had to resort to eating everything but the dead. And that was a very near thing. We're pardoning Ser Davos Seaworth, incidentally. If not for him, I'd be either dead or a cannibal."

Loras nodded. "I'm in complete agreement. The man that saved you from such horrible fates deserves a little leniency and Stannis was the one who knighted him."

"Even if he won't fight with me, I can't imagine he'd take up arms against me. He's too practical for that," Renly said. "I cried when they took my dog away. I didn't want to eat him but Stannis made me. He was always making me eat. And he was never quite able to get over what happened even though he knows it was war and nothing personal. Even though he has laid siege to place himself. Part of it, I suppose, is, sorry, _was _his quintessential Stannis-ness but…he was in charge. I was not. I was six. I'm sure there were things I didn't see. He kept me safe and alive and _no one _thought that he could. It was a miracle, really. Looking back I don't know how he did it. And all I ever did was curse him for not just letting your family feed us. Hostages we might have been but well-fed hostages. And surely they wouldn't have killed us if it still looked like Robert could win."

"Ah, but if Storm's End had fallen my family would have been at the Trident and then that might have played out very differently," Loras pointed out. "Robert would have been killed, of course. Perhaps Stannis as well. At your age, I hope you would have been spared. The Mad King wouldn't have spared you but they say Prince Rhaegar intended to take the throne once the rebellion was passed."

"You know," Renly said thoughtfully, "for someone whose family ultimately failed with their siege, you're spending an awful lot of time telling me Stannis did the right thing."

Loras shrugged. "Well he won, of course he did the right thing. And my family was pardoned so we lost nothing at Storm's End. We didn't even lose any men like we would have if we had had to fight. And Stannis, whatever else he became later, did keep you safe then. If you had died I'd never have known the difference, how could I, but my world would have been a darker place nonetheless."

Renly said nothing, instead choosing to respond with a kiss. There was a hint of desperation on Loras' lips and he wondered what the other man could taste on his own.

"I…take it that was the right thing to say, then," Loras said once they had parted.

"You always know the right thing to say," Renly said, almost accusatorily. "It's terribly unfair."

"Well if I do then so do you," Loras countered. "So we're even so it's perfectly fair."

"But it always has a stronger affect on me than on you," Renly protested. "So it's still unfair."

"I submit that it affects me just as much as it does you but I have had more practice as pretending not to be affected," Loras said. "You really can't be obvious growing up with my grandmother."

"I like your grandmother."

Loras laughed. "So do I but the woman is a terror. Did she ever tell you how she ended up Lady Tyrell?"

"She did one better. She told me she couldn't quite remember the room number and so had to guess between two rooms and she found out later that the room she didn't go into belonged to Tywin Lannister," Renly said.

Loras' horrified face was one that Renly was sure to remember when he needed a good laugh. "You are making that up."

"You should ask her about it."

Loras glared and said nothing.

Renly glanced behind him once again. He could pretend all he wanted. He could let the matter die then and there. But if he couldn't speak of this to Loras then who could he speak of it to? He didn't want to hold it inside of him until he went mad. "I didn't know I loved him, you know. In fact, I really thought I didn't. What a lark, to only realize that I did after he was gone."

"He was your brother," Loras said quietly. "It's only natural that you loved him."

"And how natural was it that I killed him?"

"You didn't do it yourself and I'd say it was perfectly natural after he refused to yield and challenged you to battle," Loras said firmly.

"The peach. I knew he'd say no to the peach. I'd have been in rather a bind if he had said yes as I had only brought one but how could he have said yes? He was _Stannis_. He did not believe it proper to eat during a parley discussing important business, however hopeless the parley was, and he certainly wouldn't have eaten a peach of Highgarden if his life depended on it. That's why I asked, really. I did want to annoy him. And why not? He was laying siege to my castle and I know very well how he felt about people doing that to him. But I did try to give him some good advice. I told him to take time to enjoy life and not let the little moments pass him by. You never knew when life would leave you. But we both knew one of us would die the next day. He looked at me like I had given him a riddle to solve. I could outright spell it out and he wouldn't get it."

"You tried. You didn't have to parley with him," Loras pointed out. "He was the one who attacked you unprovoked and insisted on fighting you instead of the Lannisters. You offered him more than he had a right to after that kind of behavior and were more generous than I would have been."

"And when he said no I killed him." Renly waved a hand. "Oh, don't look at me like that, Loras. I'm fine. I knew that I had to do it. He would have killed me given half a chance. Would he have mourned for me? Somehow I can't imagine Stannis being that sentimental."

"I don't know," Loras said but it was clear he was mostly just saying it to make Renly feel better. "What was his desire for Storm's End if not sentiment? Dragonstone was more than any second son could reasonably expect."

"Was it sentiment?" Renly asked rhetorically. "Or was it his duty, his right? I do not know if he was capable of sentiment but he certainly did have a strong sense of those two things."

"I don't know what to say," Loras admitted. "You said I always know what to say but right now I'm trying to think of something to make this better but I can't. I'm sorry."

"There's nothing _to_ say," Renly said, an odd calm beginning to settle over him. He could not describe what he had felt before but now it was all ebbing away. "My brother is dead and I killed him and the both of us drove each other to that point and I loved him and nothing can ever make that better. He used to read me letters from Robert. He promised me Robert would come save us during the Siege even though he must have known that he couldn't know that. He let me run around pretending to be all manner of things." A choked chuckle passed his lips. "He even tried to tell me bedtime stories though of course you've met Stannis and you can imagine how well that went. I did gain a very good understanding of history at a very young age, though."

"That must have been useful."

Renly shrugged. "I suppose. Was that love? He never said it but he was Stannis; he was incapable of that. It must have been. And he would have killed me."

"Time has a way of changing things," Loras said softly. "Who knows? If it had gone the other way, say a rock fell from the sky and hit you on the head, maybe your brother would be obsessing over that peach."

"If he did it would probably be because he was still trying to figure out the secret message in me telling him to enjoy life," Renly said glumly. "But it doesn't matter anymore, does it? I loved Stannis, though perhaps the young man he was more than the bitter man he grew into that would have killed me, and now he is dead."

And it didn't change anything, did it? Before Stannis had come he was on the verge of forming an alliance, at least at some point in the future, with the Stark faction and marching on King's Landing. A few days had passed and now he was back to doing just that. Maybe there would be less tourneys, though. They did want to reach King's Landing before the Starks made it all the way down from Winterfell, after all, and he suddenly wasn't in a tourneying mood. Maybe it would pass.

Kinslaying was a terrible offense, even in the less superstitious south. Up North if two brothers found themselves on opposite sides of a battlefield they'd probably fight over who would surrender faster to avoid such a thing. But he hadn't done it personally. He hadn't even technically ordered it done. It had been a fair combat in a fair battle and they both had agreed to it. And it had been for the good of the kingdom. The Lannisters were all wrong for Westeros and Joffrey was a little monster in the making. Stannis would have been better but if the choice was between Stannis and Renly then Renly was the obvious choice. It was for _Westeros_. How could it have been wrong?

Stannis would have done the same. That was vindication, wasn't it?

"They're waiting for you," Loras told him. "When you're ready."

"I'm ready now," Renly said, taking one last look at his brother before turning back to his knight. "What's done is done and I still have a kingdom to win. And I had _better _win it because if all of this was for nothing…no. It can't be. We've wasted enough time here."


End file.
